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~Tampon-Masturbation

pops cherries with her TEETH
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About Me Member Antagonist Tampon-Masturbation19/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 95 Deviations
2,311 Comments
7,621 Pageviews

Wish Upon a Cornhole Chapter 1

My current Pat/Sponge fic.
But it's a self-insert.
And sucks ass.
Disclaimer: I do not own :iconlalaluna13:, :iconms-ginny-snape:, :iconxxpoisonettaxx:, or :iconband8pgeek:. Or SpongeBob, Patrick, or any other Bikini Bottom citizens. I just borrowed their personas (without permission) and butchered their personalities in this horror fest.
Oh, I don't own Grace or Steve, either (false names, but they know who they are).
I barely own Anne.
Plot . . . yeah . . . dunno if that's mine, either. It's pretty cliche.
But enjoy nonetheless!

Favourites

Daddy, oh daddy.
by ~Ms-Ginny-Snape
Sacramento Cheerio MassacreThe cheerios sat somberly in darkness surrounded by cardboard walls; their prison an impenetrable, recyclable fortress. They only lie awake, for they can not sleep. They remain silenced, for they have neither mouths, nor lips, nor tongues to speak with. All they can do is wait.  
 
 But for what? A skyline they have never seen? An ocean's swelling tide? How can they miss what they have yet to experience? These desolate questions stay unanswered. All they can wait for is for their shelf-life to expire and the cruel fate of becoming stale.  
 
A sudden stirring of their penitentiary startled the small 'O's, forcing out Sacramento Cheerio Massacre
by ~destinys-demon
DOI Lol, Sylven date.Sylven tried to quietly enter the house, he really did, it was totally accidental when he accidentally pushed the door open sharply, and accidentally stomped in the house, coughing loudly while doing so. Lol opened his door and peeked out. "Could you please be quiet, I am trying to sleep." He muttered.  "Oh, I am sorry. Man I had SO much fun on my date, want to hear about it?" Sylven asked.  "I rather not, I am tired, I could care less at this moment." Lol replied bluntly, too upset to care.  "Oh ho ho, somebody is pissy this evening, what crawled up your ass and died?" The cat asked sarcastically, he grinned brightly as Lol to DOI Lol, Sylven date.
by ~xxPoisonettaxx
Pride
by ~spongychic92
Awesome shit. You guys should check this stuff out. Much better than anything I've made.
Browse Favourites

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Wherever I wake up the morning after
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: Fuck clothing!
  • Print preference: Leopard. Rawr-rawr, I's a sex kitten.
  • Interests: Bitches, hoes, giant cocks, pouty blowjob lips, trigonometry
  • Favourite movie: Clockwork Orange, Paprika, Repo! The Genetic Opera, RHPS
  • Favourite band or musician: The band of whores I just raped
  • Favourite genre of music: Mattress springs and headboards slapping the wall
  • Favourite artist: Squillia--just playing you, I like that one with the unibrow. Frida...Oh wait, I did mean Squilly.
  • Favourite poet or writer: John Irving, Squilliam (sex journal FTW; really opened my eyes), Russo, you
  • Favourite photographer: Squilliam. I like the polaroid pictures of all his victims. I mean conquests. I mean...uh...
  • Favourite style of art: Porn
  • Operating System: Paper towels and menstrual blood.
  • MP3 player of choice: Squilliam
  • Shell of choice: Gary-after prying it from his CHARRED, BURNED FLESH!!!!!!!!111
  • Wallpaper of choice: The flesh of virgin puppies
  • Skin of choice: Your motha's ballsack
  • Favourite game: Teeheehee, nekkid twister.
  • Favourite gaming platform: Squilliam......'s dick
  • Favourite cartoon character: SpongeBob. Love his shota ass. Squilliam's probably in my top twelve, though.
  • Personal Quote: Go ahead and indulge in your freakish masturbation because that's what you're good at!
  • Tools of the Trade: Squilliam.

100 Squilliams. Wait, I meant truths.

Sun Nov 15, 2009, 8:54 PM
But I prefer Squilliams. Can you imagine 100 of him? Holy hell, now that's an orgy.

001. Real name? *sigh* Jessica. Yeah, I hate it, too.
002. Nickname(s)? I have way too many to list.
003. Zodiac sign? Leo
004. Male or female? I has a vagina.
005. Elementary? Popplewell Elementary
006. Middle School? Wendell, then Buhl.
007. High School? Buhl
008. Hair color? I'm a red head at the moment.
009. Long or short? Uh...long in the front, short in the back.
010. Loud or Quiet? Loud. And quiet. Depends where I am and who I'm with. I'm loud in groups, quieter with one-on-one shit.
011. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans.
012. Phone or Camera? Camera, I guess.
013. Health freak? Not really. I'm kinda addicted to hand sanitizer at the moment, though.
014. Drink or Smoke? I don't. Mostly don't, anyway.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, I don't do crushes.
016. Eat or Drink? I'm a beverage person. Love to swallow. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
017. Piercings? Just my ears.
018. Tattoos? Nah, I'm too indecisive to know what to permanently imprint on my flesh.

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane? Yes
020. Been in a car accident? Yes
021. Been in a fist fight? Definitely.

FIRSTS:
022. First piercing? Just my ears.
023. First best friend? Uh...I think it was Amanda...?
025. First award? Probably some crap in kindergarten. Like perfect attendance or something. I dunno.
026. First crush? Uh...my first sexual experience was Michael, but I didn't really feel anything like lust or love for him. Sorry, I really don't get crushes.
028. First big vacation? Disneyworld, bitch!

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to? My dad
030. Last person you texted? Riley
031. Last person you watched a movie with? Probably by myself, at work.
032. Last food you ate? Caramel Corn. It was gross.
033. Last movie you watched? Christmas Carol (the new one)
034. Last song you listened to? We Started This Op'ra Shit (Repo! soundtrack)
035. Last thing you bought? Popcorn at work. Gag.
036. Last person you hugged? Lisa

FAVES:
037. Food? Probably ice cream. I'm boring, I know.
038. Drinks? Loving me some cherry Dr. Pepper right now.
039. Clothing? NONE! er, probably t-shirts. I don't have a favorite article of clothing, though.
040. Book? Clockwork Orange. Though I'm rereading Booty Nomad and that book is fucking hilarious.
041. Music? I dunno.
042. Flower? I don't care about flowers.
043. Colors? Lime green.
044. Movies? Good question. I like musicals (LOVE Repo! just because it's so stupid) (Rent pretty much rocks my face or whatever right now, too). And obscure indie films (OH MY GOD, I WANNA REWATCH IGBY GOES DOWN NOW!!!!!). OH, and the best: porn.
045. Shoes? I dunno. I pretty much just wear whatever.
046. Subjects? English. Science is kinda awesome, actually. Psych is pretty sweet. Used to like band, except it got shitty, which is why I ended up quitting.

IN THE PAST YEAR I ... :
047. [ ] kissed in the snow
048. [x] celebrated Halloween
049. [ ] had your heart broken
050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [x] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [ ] came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ] had an abortion
055. [x] done something you've regretted
056. [x] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [ ] met someone who changed your life
060. [x] pretended to be sick
061. [ ] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [ ] ran a mile
065. [] went to the beach with your best friend
066. [] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating? Not a thing, hoe.
068. Drinking? Nothing.
069. I'm about to? Reply to Riley.
070. Listening to? Placebo now.
071. Plans for today/tomorrow? School. Work on novel. Find a random someone to RP or something.
072. Waiting for? What are any of us waiting for, really?

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? No, please.
074. Want to get married? I don't believe in the practice at all. Anyone who tries to trick me into a life of subservitude and slavery is never going to hear from me again. I don't believe in it.
That being said, I believe everyone deserves the right. Just because it's not for me doesn't mean it can't work for someone, right?
075. Careers in mind? I'd love to be a writer. Not gonna happen, though. I'll probably end up a cashier for life or something.

WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL?
076. Lips or eyes? I actually think I prefer lips. Eyes are nice, though.
077. Shorter or taller? Honestly? Taller. I don't really care, though.
078. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontaneous. Romance bores me.
079. Nice stomach or nice arms? Arms, I guess. Don't care, though. Those aren't the bodyparts that excite me.
080. Sensitive or loud? Sensitivity is nice, but loud ballsiness is pretty sexy.
081. Hookup or relationship? Hookup, honestly.
082. Troublemaker or hesitant? Troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts? No...? Sunglasses, yes. I don't wear glasses, though.
084. Ran away from home? Yeah
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense? Yeah
086. Killed somebody? Hahahaha, yeah, let me tell ya...
087. Broken someone's heart? Probably.
088. Been arrested? Almost, but no.
089. Cried when someone died? Yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself? Most of the time.
091. Miracles? I believe in slim percentages.
092. Love at first sight? I barely believe in love.
093. Heaven? No.
094. Santa Claus? No
095. Sex on the first date? Yes
096. Kiss on the first date? I don't like kissing, but sure.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? I actually really wanna be alone right now.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? Not at all.
099. Do you believe in God? No. Kinda wish I did sometimes, though.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people. Suck my dick. Seriously. If you want to do this, do it. I don't care.

2 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
  • Mood: Hump
  • Listening to: porn
  • Reading: porn
  • Watching: porn
  • Playing: porn
  • Eating: porn
  • Drinking: porn

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Comments


:iconxxpoisonettaxx:
~xxPoisonettaxx 4 days 10 hours ago
*Heavy breathing* I want you. In my bed. Screaming my name. Eating taco's. *is aroused* ;) rawr rawr.

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YOUR FACE!
:D
TDP is the amazing cosplay group I'm in. I HAS PRIDE!!
:iconkanahatake:
~KanaHatake Nov 16, 2009, 4:06:16 PM
YOU'RE TAMPON!! Hello, I am Rin ^.^ I've heard a lot of happy good lovely things about you from Riley ^.^

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TemeDobeProductions is my family!

The Shadow that Guides

SHINK FANS UNITE! [link]

"I said I'd live out both our lives...easy to make that promise."
:icontampon-masturbation:
~Tampon-Masturbation Nov 16, 2009, 6:19:17 PM
Aye, I am indeed Tampon. Aww, really, have you now? She talks about you a lot, too. Nice to meet ya!

--
I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient, and you get out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid.
– Brian Kinney
:iconkanahatake:
~KanaHatake Nov 16, 2009, 11:18:35 PM
D'aww! She does? *blush* Nice to meet you as well ^.^ How are you?

--
TemeDobeProductions is my family!

The Shadow that Guides

SHINK FANS UNITE! [link]

"I said I'd live out both our lives...easy to make that promise."
:iconpseudocide335:
~pseudocide335 Nov 11, 2009, 9:51:54 PM
Jumping over here to smother you with more thank yous. Thank you for the fav! ^_^

--
Eddie: “You are gay. Act like it once in your life.”
Peaches: “You’re a man. Act like it once in your life.”
-- [link]
:iconhaiku-loves-yuri:
~haiku-loves-yuri Nov 11, 2009, 4:26:19 AM
lol love your name
and thanks for the fave you fellow gay lover.
:iconchirleep:
~chirleep Nov 10, 2009, 12:21:39 PM
O hai. Thanks for the favorite. :D
:iconantisexual:
*antisexual Nov 7, 2009, 6:42:19 PM
some username you have... :paranoid:

--
Fave Shows:
Spongebob Squarepants
Making Fiends
Happy Tree Friends
Avatar
Sailor Moon
:iconbroodwitch:
~Broodwitch Nov 5, 2009, 7:40:05 PM
:rose: Thank you for the fave! :iconbowplz:

--
Alexa <3 Mein Herz schlägt nur für dich mieze

12/2/13 Is the day I truly live

:bulletred::bulletorange::bulletyellow::bulletgreen::bulletblue:

Am I pretty...
:icontampon-masturbation:
~Tampon-Masturbation Nov 5, 2009, 7:54:31 PM
You're welcome! I should have commented, but I was a bit blown away, honestly. You have the greatest original characters ever, I swear.

--
I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient, and you get out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid.
– Brian Kinney
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